Marriage Advice Written by a Man Who Lost His Marriage

Anyone who follows my ramblings on here knows I am all over the place. I talk about dieting, the state of the world, beliefs, my own musings... but such is the state of my Cage. The cogs are always turning and the topics are eclectic.

Every once in awhile I come across a piece of writing that is so well done; it inspires me to ponder its topic. Sometimes when this happens, I find that I have nothing profound to add to the conversation - the author has eloquently said everything that needs to be said. Such is the case today.

This morning I came across the following piece on Facebook. It is attributed to GeraldRogers on his profile page. Gerald appears to be what's called a "transformational leader" and he is a sponsored member of the social networking site. I don't know any more about him than that, so if you're interested, check him out using the link. What I do know is that he shared some great advice on marriage that I want to store for myself and share with anyone else brave enough to venture here and peek inside my head. I'm assuming he wrote this about what is happening in his own life, which is sad for him, but good for us. You see, hindsight is 20/20, so Gerald is no doubt describing to us what he knows from experience.

The piece is long, but if your relationship is worth it, you'll take the time to read it, and more importantly - apply it.

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD (Written by Gerald Rogers):

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had...

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority every day to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn't about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him 'I do', and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn't what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

The Last Straw Continued: 30 Day Detox and Diet Plan

As promised, here is the next phase of the detox and diet plan.

I struggled with how to present this here. I wanted to be detailed, but too much detail gets boring and restrictive. I wanted to share tons of information, but who has the time to write it all out, let alone read it. Then it dawned on me - communicate the premise, provide some recipes and let people have fun with it.

So here we go...

First, I hate that "diets" revolve around food. I feel like we revolve too much around food (e.g., social events, celebrations, recreational activities). We really shouldn't be so preoccupied with what we are having for supper or if they "are feeding us" at the event. But we do, and our obsession with what to eat gets worse when we are limiting our intake. So do yourself a favour, take my advice in the 2 day detox plan and rid your cupboards of all the tempting crap of canned, processed and easy to prepare junk.

Second, remember, it takes just as long to prepare a large salad as it takes to boil some KD. It takes less time (and money) to prepare a couple days worth of protein than it takes to order out. Speaking of take out - I don't care that it`s a salad, it`s probably full of cheese and 5 servings of oil. Make your own and bring it with you.

Lastly, this plan has 3 rules - Drink 2 liters of water a day, take 1.5oz pure cranberry each morning, eat if you are hungry.
It also has 3 restrictions - No Wheat, No Sugar (including artificial sweeteners), No Dairy. Simple.

But I know people will panic, èverything has wheat in it`they will say. `What will I eat", they will lament. No worries, here are some ideas to keep you on track. You'll be amazed at all the things you can eat!

• Vegetables - no holds barred. Eat up. Experiment. Yum!! (No corn or legumes though).
• Fruit - apples, grapes and bananas are your friend. They are filling and full of good stuff.
• Sweet potatoes and white potatoes
• Brown Rice
• Quinoa
• Rice noodles
• Goat milk products (yogurt, milk, cheese)
• Tofu
• Whey powder
• Nuts, nut milks, butters, and waters
• Herbs
• Oil based dressings (or homemade creamy dressings with goat products)
• Poultry
• Fish
• Black decaf coffee, Green tea, Herbal teas

Ok, ok. Some of you may still be looking at that list and thinking, "damn, that's small", but if you really take time to think about it, the possibilities are endless. For example:

Breakfast = Smoothie, piece of fruit, tea/coffee

Snack = nuts and dried fruit

Lunch = Large salad with tuna or chopped chicken on top, dressing, 

Snack = Smoothie and/or nuts

Dinner = 1/4 chicken, sweet potato, steamed veggies

Snack = Smoothie or Peanut butter on a spoon

See... it's super easy! You really shouldn't be hungry on this plan and the urge to have a hamburger or a bagel or some ice cream will pass in the first week. You will survive, and just to drive the point home, if you want to have some real fun with this, check our recipes that comes from the Middle East, Greece, Turkey, Africa, Japan and Thailand. You really shouldn't be bored with your menu choices, you have so much variety at your disposal.

But as I mentioned earlier, this is not all about food. The plan will rid your body of stored toxins, gases, and fluids. It will balance your metabolism and your sugars. You will feel more energetic. But in order to reap the most benefits, there are some things not food related that you need to do to take care of you and look your best.

Daily
- 30 minutes exercise (minimum)
- 10 minutes relaxation/ stretching/ meditation/ deep breathing (pick one or do more than one)

Weekly
- Epsom salts bath
- Facial steam
- massage (self or by another person)

So I hope this is enough to get you started. Based on the feedback I've received so far, I may need to create a separate recipe blog... who knows what I'll do next!

Best wishes and don't be afraid to ask me questions.

The Last Straw- My Detox Journey

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought (or exclaimed) 'Oh, HELL no' at your reflection? Painful isn't it? Just the other day, after a shower and during a depressing one over in the full length, I had one of those moments. But this time, it was more than just scrutiny - for me it was the last straw.

I stood there and noticed all the usual signs of aging. Things just aren't where they used to be. But I also noticed that there was a lot more of me... a heck of alot more, and I was becoming oddly shaped too. I thought back to 5 years ago when I met my Fiance. I remembered that I wasn't entirely thrilled with my body back then either, but at least I had a clavicle and a rib cage. I frowned as I realized these familiar and sexy bones were now gone from sight, replaced with softness and what looks suspiciously like a beer belly. Wait... beer belly? Could it be? I pressed down on my hard and bloated stomach. I turned to the side and had deja vu of being 9 months pregnant with my second child. My gut was huge.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't know how this happened. It isn't caused by beer (per se) but mostly by wheat and processed sugars. My body treats these two substances like the toxins they are, and the symptoms of my slow poisoning are flab, bloat, eczema, headaches, rashes, brittle hair and nails, fatigue and irritability.Not a good time.

So as I said, the last straw had arrived. Why was I poisoning myself with things I know are harmful to my health and body type? Was 20 minutes in hamburger heaven worth not looking great in my clothes? Were the multitude of adverse symptoms I was suffering - because I wasn't disciplined enough to eliminate wheat and processed sugars from my diet- worth all those little treats? A resounding HELL NO is the answer.

So, what did I do and what am I doing to change it? I'll tell you. I'll tell you because if you are reading this you may be in the same situation. Maybe you don't have all the symptoms of wheat belly, but you know it affects you. Maybe you just want to be healthier. Maybe you are just curious. Maybe you are just trolling the internet looking for something to criticize. Who knows? But in any event, I'll tell you.

But before we start, I have a disclaimer. I'm not a nutritionist or a dietician. I have no certifiable credentials and no authority on the matter of health and weightloss. So if you want to try this, you do so like taking diet tips from a good friend. What I do have to offer is an insight into how my body works, 20 years of personal research on diet techniques and fitness plans, and enough University level training in hormones, neurology, and molecular biology to know my way around the science of it all... also, I've done this before with outstanding results. My current need to do it again is because I got lazy and undisciplined. Simple as that.

To give you an example of how much water weight and bloat we carry, I want to share my results of just two days on detox. When I did this 8 years ago, I lost 25 lbs in 2 days. No, you did not read that incorrectly. I was weighed at a popular weight loss program on a Wednesday and went back on the Friday and asked to be weighed again. There was 25 lbs in the difference. They were amazed, and so was I. But keep in mind, this was not actual fat loss. This was 25lbs of crap in my intestinal tract, water and whatever else the body retains. Additionally, my stomach was flatter and I felt like a million bucks!

Fast forward to today. I no longer weigh myself because I'm personally more concerned with inches. So Thursday June 20th I took my measurements for my neck, chest, waist, hips, and thighs. This morning, Saturday June 22nd, I took the exact same measurement and here are my results:

• Neck - 0.5 inches lost
• Chest - 1.0 inch lost
• Arms - no change
• Waist - 1.5 inches lost
• Hips - 1 inch lost
• Thighs - 0.5 inches lost

Much like my results 8 years ago, I know this is water weight and the elimination of the accumulation of stuff in my intestinal tract, but the tape measure doesn't lie. Regardless of what was lost, I am less bloated, less gassy, and feeling like a million bucks! So if you're still with me. Let's get started!

The first phase is a detox stage to right the blood chemistry. If you do this right, you shouldn't be hungry, but I will warn you, over the first two days, your body will mutiny and try every trick to get you to fall back into bad habits. If you think a handful of chips, one cookie, or a donair won't hurt, you are sorely mistaken. The goal of this first phase is not only to reset your body, but also to condition the mind.

The second phase is to change your eating habits, but also to completely rid yourself of the toxins and symptoms associated with massive wheat and sugar consumption. Food can still be tasty, enjoyable, beautiful and satisfying without being laden with Wheat, Sugars, Dairy and Fats. Don't tell yourself you are limiting or depriving. You are not on a diet. This is day one to a lifestyle change.

Some preliminary steps:
1. If you are able, rid yourself of all crap in your fridge and cupboards.
This may not be feasible for people who live with others or have children (although, do your kids really need store bought crap when you could easily find healthy snack recipes online?). But if you can, give any unopened processed food to the food bank (can soups, powdered soup mixes, can beans, etc) and ask your friends if they want your wheat flour, cow milk, yogurt, cheeses, chips, cake, etc. If you can't rid your pantry and fridge of these items, you must be able to resist temptation and any little tricks your mind will play to convince you to ingest these things.

2. Go grocery shopping.
Lots of people find it hard to eat right because fresh food is not always convenient and foods laden with the crap are usually cheap and easy to prepare. I feel your pain and understand why you have that perception. But the next 30 days should change that. (See below for the detox shopping list).

3. Prepare yourself.
I'm going to be honest with you. There will be side effects to the detox and subsequent 'cleansing plan'. On day one of detox, about half way through the day you may experience an unbearable hunger. It will pass and you will live. Just don't give in. You can satisfy this with an "allowed food" even though your mind with tell you that the apple just doesn't cut it, or that a handful of nuts isn't really what you want. On day two, you may experience headaches and mild to moderate irritation. This can increase exponentially if you are a caffeine addict (coffee, soda, black tea). Be prepared for this. Warn loved ones and get outside and do something. Sit in a park and read. Go for a swim. Throw on some runners and your earphones and go for a walk. This too will pass and you will live through it. You may also feel tired. If this is the case, sleep if you can.

Now that we know what to expect, here is the grocery list and meal plan for your first two days. I'll be updating the plan for the next 28 days tomorrow. Best wishes!

Detox Grocery List (some items will also be used in the 28 day 'cleanse')
Bag carrots
1 - 2 Cucumbers
1 Green Pepper
Lettuce
Baby spinach
6 Apples
4 Bananas
Strawberries
Grapes
1 Bottle pure Cranberry Juice (unsweetened)
Pure Orange juice
1 canister Whey protein powder
2 large cans coconut water (e.g.,Blue Monkey)
Honey
Dried fruit: Raisins, figs, apricots, prunes, etc
Nuts: Almonds, hazelnuts, peanuts
Peanut butter (or Almond, sesame, etc)
1 small roasting chicken
Olive oil based salad dressing (Zesty Italian or homemade)
Green Tea

Day 1 and 2
Breakfast
Smoothie: 1 cup coconut water, 1 banana, 1 tsp honey, 1 scoop whey powder, Ice
1.5 oz (shot glass) Cranberry juice
15 grapes
Green Tea

Snack
Apple
Nut butter
16oz Water

Lunch
Smoothie: 1 cup coconut water, 1/2 cup spinach, 3 strawberries, 1 tsp honey, 1 scoop whey powder, ice
Large salad with dressing
16 oz Water

Snack
Nuts and dried fruit (about 1/2 cup total)
Green Tea
16 oz Water

Dinner
1/4 small rotisserie chicken (no skin)
Large salad with dressing (Lettuce, cucumber, carrot, celery, peppers, etc)
4 oz Orange juice
Smoothie: 1 cup coconut water, 1 banana, 1 tsp honey, 1 Tbsp peanut butter,1 scoop whey powder, Ice

Snack
Dried Fruit
16oz Water

Beltane: Thoughts of Spiritual Atheism:

For some people, today is simply May 1st, 2013. For other people it is a religious holiday, one of five such important dates throughout the year (nine if you count the equinoxes and solstices). For pagans, Wiccans, and those who still follow the old Celtic traditions, Beltane is the time when Spring, fertility, and new crops are celebrated. It is a fire festival and the activities vary from bonfire jumping to Maypole weaving. It is a time to reconnect with nature after a long winter.

I recognize Beltane and I am an Atheist.

It was this fact about me, and a facebook post, that prompted this writing. Most of my friends and family know I'm an Atheist (or a Heathen as my sister lovingly refers to me), but many are surprised when they find out I recognize and celebrate many pagan holidays. How can this be? How can I be a pagan and an Atheist? Simple. I'm not a pagan per se, I'm a spiritual atheist.

What is this nonsense?  Well, don't be too surprised. It is not impossible to be spiritual and an Atheist. Buddhists are technically atheists and they have holidays, festivals, prayers, chants and ritual. Most likely, this is where the confusion lies on the whole matter. Many people think that Atheists denounce all superstition, ritual, or supernatural. They think that science is the only way for an Atheist, and frankly, the worst offenders for this type of thinking are the Atheists!

What people tend to forget is the very definition of Atheism. To be an Atheist simply means you do not believe in god. You do not believe there is a higher power(s) that needs to be worshipped. Because of this, most Atheists reject religions that worship a god and in turn, they reject the doctrines and dogmas of those religions as well. But some Atheists have turned to science in the fervor that theists turn to scripture. I usually refer to these people as Fundamentally extreme Atheists, and often they are no better than the Bible thumpers they enjoy seeking out and arguing with. I generally roll my eyes at both groups.

If there were a continuum with Theists at one end and Atheists at the other, I believe that Spiritual Atheism would be smack in the middle - in perfect balance. Spiritual Atheism is the ability to know that science hasn't figured it all out and the supernatural are powers we just have not been able to explain yet. Spiritual Atheists tend to be in tune with nature and understand that we are all connected in some way. Life is a balance (any Biologist or Chemist can confirm that) and for every action there is a reactions (hello Physics!). But the fact some of us Spiritual ones tend to perform ritual to make a connection to the planet, and other life that resides on the planet, doesn't make us less Atheist. The planet is not a god to us, it is a living organism filled with other living organisms that demands our respect. That's it.

But what about this prayer business? Well, fundamental extremists on both sides will hate this, but it really is about channeling energy. When one meditates and recites a sutra, or casts a circle and chants a spell, it is another way of focusing all attention and energy on whatever outcome you seek, whether it be inner peace or the strength to complete some task. Again, this has nothing to do with god, so our Atheist card is still safe.

Finally,  in my opinion, Spiritual Atheists tend to be more tolerant. Maybe it is because we cherish ritual as much as science. Maybe it's because extremist views have not clouded our objectivity. Whatever the reason, I am happy that I can comfortably walk into a mosque, church, or temple and maintain an open mind about the celebrations that occur there. I can also comfortably reside in a laboratory and read a scientific article about evolution, neuroscience, astronomy, or biology and know that the methodology was sound and it doesn't conflict with my spiritual beliefs. I am not in conflict with anyone  unless they try to force their beliefs on me - then we will have a problem.

But for now, there is no issue. I am secure in my beliefs and at peace with myself. On this beautiful May 1st, I hope that whatever traditions you follow leave you happy and content.

Blessed be.

Keep the Internet Free

"Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting submission."

"How did this happen? Who's to blame? Certainly there are those who are more responsible than others [...] But again, truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty you need only look into a mirror." 

-Excerpt from V's revolutionary speech

The United States Government is again attempting to control and censor the internet. The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act has just recently passed the house. 

This bill would allow major internet entities such as Facebook, Twitter, and Google to voluntarily share your personal information with the U.S. Government. This will not only affect users in the United States, but also anyone with an account with these companies. 

This upcoming Monday, April the 22nd, we invite you to join Anonymous in a internet blackout. We encourage all web developers and website owners to go dark on this date. Display a message as to why you are going dark, and encourage others to do the same. 

We hope, just like the successful protest over the Stop Online Piracy Act, we can encourage the senate to stop this bill.

-Message from Anonymous 

If you are not aware of CISPA then I fear you have been effectively distracted. Take a moment and read up on the Bill the US House of Representatives passed while all eyes were on Boston.

Hopefully Obama will keep his word and vetoes the Bill. Hopefully. Nonetheless, if you are concerned about your on-line privacy, then perhaps a show of solidarity tomorrow is in order.

Go dark for a day... the internet will still be here when you get back - at least for now.

Terror at your door? Welcome to the Rest of the World.

We live a pretty coddled life here in North America. We can freely complain about our leaders without fear of secret police showing up in the middle of the night to drag us away. We can protest a myriad of issues (usually) without being tear gassed, shot, run over by tanks, or beaten by police in riot gear. We can also freely walk down the street, go to work, or eat in a cafe without the fear of being bombed... well, until recently.

The "Boston Marathon Bombings" have rattled our sense of security and slapped the United States awake. If someone wants to hurt you, they can, and quite easily. Weapons are easy to make. Humans are ingenious when it comes to thinking up ways to kill each other. This is not new. What is new is that it is happening on North American soil. The war is here and we are shocked, appalled, and terrified. Really?

It always surprises me when people are shocked about bombings on US soil. How long did we think we could allow our governments to bomb civilians overseas without feeling the repercussions? You think the World Trade and Boston was scary? Try living in a place where that is a daily occurrence. Then you will know terror.

How entitled are we to believe civilians from other countries would not eventually retaliate? You can call them terrorists, insurgents, or fanatics. But in the end they are people who have been seen loved ones perish, and their governments and economies crash at the hand of a foreign power. They are people who want to send a message in anyway they can. 

Don't get me wrong, I have no love for people who target civilians to send a message - but that includes ALL people and ALL governments that resort to these tactics. For me, there is no such thing as a sanctioned attack against innocents. There is no such thing as collateral damage. It is all murder.

I also understand that incidents here at home have a greater impact on us. Of course it is normal and natural to feel empathetic and shocked by tragic incidents that hit "close to home", but people should not lose sight of what is happening across the world. Bombings happen everyday in the Middle East, Asia and even parts of Europe. Are your thoughts and prayers with those people? If not, maybe you should really examine why.

Do we really believe an American, British, French, Israeli or Canadian life is worth more than a Pakistani, Afghani, Iraqi or Iranian life? Do people in Libya, Syria, and Egypt deserve their civil unrest and the death that has ensued? Why is North America's social media wrought with thoughts and prayers for the 3 people killed in  Boston this week, but not the 27 people killed in a Baghdad cafe bombing?

So while you are glued to CNN today waiting to see if they capture or kill the second bombing suspect, ask yourself these two questions:
1. How many others are out there waiting to wage attacks on US soil, and why?
2. As your government becomes more of a security state, who is the real loser in all this?

"I tell you, freedom and human rights in America are doomed. The U.S. government will lead the American people, and the West in general, into an unbearable hell and a choking life." 

-Osama bin Laden, October, 2001 (quoted in NewsMax.com 2/1/02)

Now that's a scary thought. Let's pray that he wasn't right.